"Am I audible?"...What's Next..."Am I visible?"
I recall... I see, that's one of the romantic(?) moments of my life! Finally, I did it (rather, had to do it!) - My First! The incident dates back to 2000 AD...
"You know, I called you for an important task. You'll be taking the tutorial for ESC101 tomorrow! I guess, you are aware of the schedule and the tutorial-hall! Any questions?". A minutes silence... and I felt like one of the shocks of my life! My face went pale. I whined "Bb..but, I am not prepared, sir...". "Why? You do not need any preparation for taking a tutorial of an elementary course like this! I guess you attended the Lectures, right?". As if, all of a sudden, a gorgeous fairy appeared in front of me and proposed me to marry her, I replyed bashfully "Nn..no sir. Actually I didn't...". "That's your problem (bam)! Anyways...now don't tell me, you don't know a programming language like C!". He looked furious!
Wow! What a situation! I could not say "Yes", a "No" was expected neither! The world believes silence means consent! "But sir, I have never taken any lecture or a seminar...". "Not yet! The first one has to be first! You are a PhD. student! Don't look for an excuse! All above, you are my TA!". silence....! "Don't worry. If you are so apprehensive about that, I'll be there when you commence and leave after a while as you pick up. I got to attend an important meeting! Any questions?". "...No sir...". And I was COMMITTED! I couldn't sleep throughout the night, with the excitement flowing through my veins!
Next day was full of rehearsal sessions, planning and what not! The clock ticked "4:30" and I left my hostel room. It was my first one! So I made myself fully armed, with all sorts of notes and plans! A bag hung on my back was giving me a school-boy look. I had every thing in my brain inscribed! "How to start", "What to say next", so on. As I was nearing the spot, I felt my heart throbbing faster!
I reached the destination five minutes before the commencement. I got enough time to get my nerves back to normal. I tried all sorts of breath techniques I learnt in a Yoga session to get myself back to the state of composure. It was a nice Tutorial-Hall-comlpex, green all around; the architecture worth watching! And I noticed some chaos around. Students coming out of some hall, some leaving the complex, few entering. The hall I was supposed to occupy was getting vacated. And another set of students started gathering near the entrance. I heard some moaning about the gruelling previous lecture, some discussing a problem from a previous tutorial...This one dragged my attention "Did you see him before?"..."No yar! Looks like a new entry...a late comer (sarcastic smile!)". They thought I was one of them! Yes, neither I've seen my students, nor have they seen their tutor! It was my first one, you know! So was their!
The class was vacant... students waiting outside... and I! I was eagerly waiting for the gentleman (the professor, excuse me!) to come and keep his commitment! Five minutes passed by! And I was all but murdered! I was too shy to yell "Hey you all! I am your tutor!!". "Looks like, this time as well he has forgotten to show us his face!", "Common yar, when will our tutorial start? Five lectures gone by and not a single tut yet!", "Let's go to our hostels and enjoy snacks",... many more, and I was there to hear all of them. All my plans fell apart! I was still struggling to get myself introduced to them....
"What the Hell is this going on here?..." a loud, shrill voice cut clear the hum! At last he came, almost running. "You did not start yet? Now get in quickly and start! I gotta leave!". We rushed in. I felt like an extra-territorial creature standing near the board, being stared by all, like a strange piece in a museum! I am not finding the appropriate word to describe my state of mind! "Let me introduce Mr. Sujeet Banerjee. He is your tutor for the course Fundamentals of Computing. Please feel free to ask him any doubts. Now, I'll ask Sujeet to go through the topic briefly and invite questions.". Absolute silence... and as if everybody was eagerly wating to hear how 'this alien sounds like'!
I tried bringing myself down... recalled all my plans right from the start, all what I thought. And with all those battles going on inside my brain, this one came out of my mouth "Am I audible?..." A pause! I was expecting the students to respond and none did! It felt like I was waiting for a Command-Line-Input! He became restless "Come on! Now don't ask Am I visible?!". And there was a burst of laughter all around. I was completely murdered!
That was not the good start I was looking for! My eyes were almost wet and my heart filled with revulsion. Till today, the recall of that incident sends shivers to my body! Everything you do for the first time is important - after all, it's your first! I do take lectures still, although I am not in academic profession! And yes, I am not a PhD. either! I get pleasure in taking seminars, lectures. That's one of things I feel passionate about. Many have commented "You are a good orator, and you write pretty(?) as well!".
"You know, I called you for an important task. You'll be taking the tutorial for ESC101 tomorrow! I guess, you are aware of the schedule and the tutorial-hall! Any questions?". A minutes silence... and I felt like one of the shocks of my life! My face went pale. I whined "Bb..but, I am not prepared, sir...". "Why? You do not need any preparation for taking a tutorial of an elementary course like this! I guess you attended the Lectures, right?". As if, all of a sudden, a gorgeous fairy appeared in front of me and proposed me to marry her, I replyed bashfully "Nn..no sir. Actually I didn't...". "That's your problem (bam)! Anyways...now don't tell me, you don't know a programming language like C!". He looked furious!
Wow! What a situation! I could not say "Yes", a "No" was expected neither! The world believes silence means consent! "But sir, I have never taken any lecture or a seminar...". "Not yet! The first one has to be first! You are a PhD. student! Don't look for an excuse! All above, you are my TA!". silence....! "Don't worry. If you are so apprehensive about that, I'll be there when you commence and leave after a while as you pick up. I got to attend an important meeting! Any questions?". "...No sir...". And I was COMMITTED! I couldn't sleep throughout the night, with the excitement flowing through my veins!
Next day was full of rehearsal sessions, planning and what not! The clock ticked "4:30" and I left my hostel room. It was my first one! So I made myself fully armed, with all sorts of notes and plans! A bag hung on my back was giving me a school-boy look. I had every thing in my brain inscribed! "How to start", "What to say next", so on. As I was nearing the spot, I felt my heart throbbing faster!
I reached the destination five minutes before the commencement. I got enough time to get my nerves back to normal. I tried all sorts of breath techniques I learnt in a Yoga session to get myself back to the state of composure. It was a nice Tutorial-Hall-comlpex, green all around; the architecture worth watching! And I noticed some chaos around. Students coming out of some hall, some leaving the complex, few entering. The hall I was supposed to occupy was getting vacated. And another set of students started gathering near the entrance. I heard some moaning about the gruelling previous lecture, some discussing a problem from a previous tutorial...This one dragged my attention "Did you see him before?"..."No yar! Looks like a new entry...a late comer (sarcastic smile!)". They thought I was one of them! Yes, neither I've seen my students, nor have they seen their tutor! It was my first one, you know! So was their!
The class was vacant... students waiting outside... and I! I was eagerly waiting for the gentleman (the professor, excuse me!) to come and keep his commitment! Five minutes passed by! And I was all but murdered! I was too shy to yell "Hey you all! I am your tutor!!". "Looks like, this time as well he has forgotten to show us his face!", "Common yar, when will our tutorial start? Five lectures gone by and not a single tut yet!", "Let's go to our hostels and enjoy snacks",... many more, and I was there to hear all of them. All my plans fell apart! I was still struggling to get myself introduced to them....
"What the Hell is this going on here?..." a loud, shrill voice cut clear the hum! At last he came, almost running. "You did not start yet? Now get in quickly and start! I gotta leave!". We rushed in. I felt like an extra-territorial creature standing near the board, being stared by all, like a strange piece in a museum! I am not finding the appropriate word to describe my state of mind! "Let me introduce Mr. Sujeet Banerjee. He is your tutor for the course Fundamentals of Computing. Please feel free to ask him any doubts. Now, I'll ask Sujeet to go through the topic briefly and invite questions.". Absolute silence... and as if everybody was eagerly wating to hear how 'this alien sounds like'!
I tried bringing myself down... recalled all my plans right from the start, all what I thought. And with all those battles going on inside my brain, this one came out of my mouth "Am I audible?..." A pause! I was expecting the students to respond and none did! It felt like I was waiting for a Command-Line-Input! He became restless "Come on! Now don't ask Am I visible?!". And there was a burst of laughter all around. I was completely murdered!
That was not the good start I was looking for! My eyes were almost wet and my heart filled with revulsion. Till today, the recall of that incident sends shivers to my body! Everything you do for the first time is important - after all, it's your first! I do take lectures still, although I am not in academic profession! And yes, I am not a PhD. either! I get pleasure in taking seminars, lectures. That's one of things I feel passionate about. Many have commented "You are a good orator, and you write pretty(?) as well!".
posted by Sujeet Banerjee | 8:17 PM
1 Comments:
Hmm... Hmm.. Thats pretty harsh, to say the least... Whtz important is you came out of it and learnt it in your own way .. Man.. I admire that .. and keep rocking the same way!!
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